Online Dating. Still laughing.....

OK, I've been resisting writing about this topic until now, but now, I cannot help myself.

Driving home tonight on CityLink there was an ENORMOUS billboard. One of those lead-you-on type ones where you don't know what it's all about.... I unfortunately have a photographic memory for these things and generally curiosity drives me mad until I have to look it up (on my Telstra enabled Broadband - to which every day I say hallelujah).

SO I looked this one up. It was an online dating site. O-kay.... so, I'm not an online dating site virgin. Been there, done that, and been deserted in the Middle East. But, that's a story for another time.

But, this is one was a budding online dating site, and of such poor quality I was truly horrified. AND I'm too scared to put the link in in case I get SUED (oh yes, my blog is growing in readership daily).

Curiosity and general boredom (and procrastination. I am meant to be looking for a job, aftera all) meant that I spent about an hour looking around. Half that time was laughing and half that time was shuddering. Yes, I am a bad person who is going directly to hell. I was laughing at these poor unfortunate lonely broken hearted.....

....psychopathic morons who deserve to be single.

Just in case anyone happens to be reading this who may be interested in online dating, I'm going to give you a few tips:

- do not mention snakes in any context anywhere in your profile (one for the fellas in particular)
- use correct spelling. If you're not sure what this is, ask a friend. My favourite: purrfume (something you'd put on a cat? LMAO).
- do not post a photo in which it looks like you are not wearing any deodorant. Again, a friend can help you out here.
- if you don't have hair, you need to choose "bald" as your hair colour, not the colour it was before it fell out.
- it's not necessary to specify the number of marriages that preceded this latest attempt to find a wife. "Divorced" is generally sufficient, regardless of the number .

I'm the first to admit that I have unattainably high standards when it comes to finding a man (and I have references to prove it). Perhaps what I outline above is just what you are looking for. If so, get in touch. I'll send you the web address.